Pages

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Where do I end

Hi all,
I have been busy all days, something or the other keeps me occupied, mind you being busy doesn't mean that all things which I do is fruitful or productive, I do things which I like, and of course some things which I am forced to like :) and somethings of course which I hate but have to do no other go.

Recent trend in movies, courtesy Mayakkam enna (Read my view of it ) and Nanban  trailer ( OK OK all you anti vijay fans, its 3 idiots ! happy ?? ), portrays follow your heart, but are we allowed to do so is a real question which I myself ask me many times, and most of the times end up starring at the walls. ( Not the Facebook wall, though sometimes I do  ).
So now I ask myself, looking back, over years what have I done. I dont know , like they show in movies, I dont have a particular passion, or something like that, its been always what my parents tell me, they influence my decisions, though ultimately I take the decision, but still the options I have is minimal.

During school days, my parents sent me to Hindi Class, as we in TamilNadu don't have Hindi as a mandatory language in school, so they asked me to learn, but the sad thing is I was in sixth standard, and I had no idea of the outside world, for me world was nothing but the desk in my class, cycle race while coming back from school to home, and the street cricket in evenings. Then my world gradually widened to Mario , Duck Hunt, Contra, Double Dragon, Tank  in TV video games, so at that time, my Hindi classes, were like hell, it devoid'ed me from all the things I enjoy. My parents used to tell me, 'Ipa padi apram enjoy panalam' ,translated as ' Read now, you can enjoy later' . And I will listen to it, and think yeah , I too will become like my father once, and be happy,  and the issue is at that time we were not aware of the   *Conditions apply   which comes along with that text. So I managed to write a couple of those Hindi exams, and I failed in one, and felt happy that my parents decided that its better to stop. ( p.s One more reason is that staff,  who took class , vacated and left Neyveli itself, namba performance apdi !! )

After that time, slowly TV Video games were replaced by Computer games, like Cassettes were replaced by CDs. I was in my tenth grade, that time all my neighbors were guys in 7th 8th, so all used to play in the street, my mom will give permission to play for a hour, that too if I dont have tests the following day. She will say the same dialogue 'Ipa padi aprama enjoy panalam', I used to convince myself thinking of the same. Then after that I was given option of taking either Bio or Comp group, they never asked me what I liked to whether these 2 are my interests, and they were right in not asking me even, I didnt know what is what in the first place. I took Computer group,  as I was little bit inclined to programming that time.

Slowly btech was going on, we enjoyed in parts, but often there was a lot of pressure, cant go out whenever we liked, as we were in hostel, and college rules were pretty strict. That time whenever we hear of frens form CEG, which was the top college in Chennai,  hence there were no rules there, my mother's words echo'es.. We used to think , okay all we need is a job now, once we get that , its done. Then we can do whatever we want, buy an expensive camera, buy whatever we want, play whenever we want, roam whenever we want.. the list continued on and on, day by day the list kept on increasing, while due to recession companies visiting the campus kept reducing day by day... At last we got jobs, then we decided, okay its time to enjoy now..
Then now in company, I have been employed for almost one and a half year now, now also there is the same thing, work pressure keeps me continuously engaged, striking work life balance is a real art, which can never be taught, should be learnt.. In college those lecturers speak like , What is paging, what is software engineering, what is waterfall model ,what is linked list, what is a avl tree,is the world outside. Knowing answers tho these is all they want, I agree these fetched us the jobs we have now. But still they never realize something else is out there, which nobody is prepared , which everyone has to face without any lecturer, nor practice sessions.
So now in company are we enjoying ?? There also that * is blinking, in fact much brighter than ever..Once you are with a job, you feel you can relax, but then someone will speak to your parents that 'Btech is useless, go do an MBA in IIM . MS in Stanford' , then some parents start thinking about that, and then we are into the same process again, go, study for 2 years, you will get a good job, earn more, you can find a good girl, all girls look for a guy with Masters in US, I think what about the rest ?!?!

Now I realize the dialogue , Life is a race, my version of it is , Life is a race, but that race never ends, looks like it will end, but again it starts with a new one !


We watch some movies, feel inspired, and decide follow your heart, make work life balance properly, within two days your manager will call you in dead night asking about your deliverable.
So this year has made me learn a lot of things, last year I was completely free, last year my new year post, was drafted in office, and now its the converse, am doing it in home after returning from work for almost 12 hours, but all these experiences I learnt make me grow, and evolve.
The best learning I have had this year is, we need proper breaks occasionally, need some fragmentation of memory, and live life the way I want, though some bad decisions are there, there are some good ones too, and the best part I decide what I do, I dont decide based on what others do, I do what I feel good.

Wishing you all a happy new year, a new book awaits in front of us, to be scribbled or nicely written, of course to be torn away too, its all in our hands.

Bye till nex,







9 comments:

  1. "Life is a race..." - mass dialogue machi. its like "evvalo ponnunga irunthum naan ean jessya love pannean"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yep one must follow their heart and do wat they like :)..But things are not as rosy as shown in movies,at the end of day ppl will ask,"How much money you earn" :(

    ReplyDelete
  3. @balaji : yes machi.. Its evergreen !!

    ReplyDelete
  4. @bala: They dont ask that in US, so you wont have a problem there :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. oada oada oada dhooram korayala...

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Life is a race" thamizh pazhamozhi illa. thamizh naatula, "evvalavo pannitom. idha panna mattoma?"

    ReplyDelete
  7. @madhu : kavalapadatha adutha varam nanban padam varudu, adula inda dialogue irukum

    ReplyDelete
  8. True wordings of the IT Industry.. I feel that although money is there we are missing something in life.. and I am trying to find out what it is !!

    ReplyDelete