Hello all,
Its appraisal time of the year, and after yesterday's collapse I got so frustrated seeing it, and was just thinking what India did after world cup. So lets do a appraisal of Indian Cricket for this year.
I feel we had no significant outings this year, we lost invariably everywhere.
Well this is how an appraisal by you and me will look like, if we have one with Indian Cricket team .
Considering our current trend, it seems it will be difficult to have an month without having an scandal, without having an unwanted arrest, without having an series loss , without having an report from Kejriwal about some scam. That perfectly explains the state of Indian cricket.
Common Man : Well Indian Cricket team , welcome to your appraisal discussion for the 2012 season. Its been quite a time we had a significant chat about performance, and I haven checked the ICC ratings now, so tell me what you did over the year.
Ind Cricket Team : Well, its been a great year we toured great places, had great fun, played a bit of cricket too, indulged in as much as off-ground tactics as well. As a team, we are young, as we have successfully forced the seniors to put down their papers, and asked them to sit with Ramiz Raja and hence helped you to see the matches peacefully ,as he his too biased in commentary.
Common Man : Do you mean to say he always favour's the opposition ?
Ind Cricket Team : Well, not exactly. We tried our level best to overcome the hurdles, if one thought one series was worst ever, we came back strong with another devastating series loss and hence continuously exceeded expectations in pushing the bottom line. He never appreciated for that.
Common Man : BCCI has still appointed commentators who always speak high of BCCI, and BCCI even pays them, and in fact they get paid double both from BCCI and the sport channels.
Ind Cricket Team : Well, you see they needed some moments to speak high of us, apart from the IPL where all competing teams are Indian teams, we never gave them those moments.
Common Man : You see, IPL is not strictly in ICC's FTP, so its not part of our appraisal discussion, you cannot use that here.
MS : Oh God ! Srinivasan, my manager never told me that. Else I wouldn have wasted many matches giving practice to all my CSKmates in Indian cricket team, keeping other IPL team members constantly in the job of carrying water, juice, substitute fielders.
Srinivasan : IPL is a revolution of its own kind, and MS you cannot blame me for it. In order to give you more practice and earn more money I even increased the no ot teams, and no of matches. You spent more time in parties and following EPL rather than practicing for your matches.
Common Man : Well, you both take your business dealings outside of this discussion, we are in discussion about Indian Cricket Team and not just you two alone.
Rest of Ind Cricket Team : Well, we have just joined the team, and we are in our twenties, and MS always says its the role of youngsters to take the responsibility from the seniors, the only doubt we have is which category MS actually belongs to. He is asking the senior players to quit, and he is also having a rotation policy asking Sehwag, Gambhir to sit out, while he is also around the same age as them.
MS : Well its time to change the policy, we will now have a rotation policy for batsmen and bowlers. I wont fit into it exactly as my main role is wicket keeping. This is how I get to be as 'Captain Cool'.
Common Man : Okay hang on. It seems the discussion is going off the track, just like our bowlers who never bowl in good line and length. At least I have always a particular frequency length in my TV tuned for the channel which telecasts the match.
We will come to our performance series by series.
Ind Cricket team : Lets go backwards from December to Jan.
Common Man : Why is that so ?
Ind Cricket team : Well you see, we lost all series invariably except for a few which was against the minnows, and when compared to the loss of latest series Ind England, World T20 loss is comparatively less significant loss. So you see when compared to current loss, always the previous one looked much better.
Common Man : Well, I get your logic. Losing by playing 5 days is much better than losing in just 4 days or even less , this is what you mean rite.
Ind Cricket team : Absolutely, no wonder , you have invariably followed us everywhere and noticed our performances.We appreciate the fact that you even arranged a appraisal meeting for discussing about our performance, even after seeing all the matches.
Common Man : Well you see , you can relate this to what you do even. You travelled to Australia much earlier than the first match, asking for practice. But on the reality, I guess its an eyewash. You just got more per-diem and spent on buying Australian Beers and stuffs, and hung out in your fellow IPL team mates house. And to top it all, you filed your travel expense report as buying special mongoose bats to practice for IPL, special balls to find out how Australian bowlers bowl well.
Ind Cricket team : So you know these all along ?
Common Man : Well of course, I have more priority to follow Indian Cricket than Indian politics, as a matter of fact than anything. I follow your matches day and night , wake up to the time zone of the country you are touring, following you ball by ball in Cricbuzz and Cricinfo, and as a sentiment sometimes only in Cricbuzz/Cricinfo.
Common Man : The year started with your Australia tour, with all the buzz around saying this is the weak Australian team ever etc. all we managed is to score once above 300 in 8 innings we played. And lost 2 test matches with more than 100 runs margin, and 2 being an innings defeat.
Indian Cricket Team ; Well, you see it was all due to the christmas treat which the Australians threw for us. They mixed something in our food, and we got addicted to their Maggi which can be made in 2 mins, and we just couldn bat any longer than 2 mins, as our Maggi was ready to eat back in the dressing room. We gave the responsibility to Sachin, Dravid , Laxman in the batting department, and bowling to Zaheer.
All of them failed.
Common Man : Well, as I understand cricket is a team game, and if 4 players fail, you still have 7 more players who can play.
Indian Cricket team : Well, they are youngsters, so you cant just put the blame on them, put them on the seniors, so they take the blame and retire.
Common Man : Well leave that, its a series to be forgotten anyways for our own good.
Indian Cricket Team : In that case, you have to forget the whole year for our own good .
Common Man : Hang on, hang on, I am not done with you yet. I understand that there is a power shortage in your hotels, as a result your maggi is still not ready.
Indian cricket team : Okay, if you say so.
Common Man : Australian soil, I understand is much differnt from Indian soil, so you can make an excuse for that, but I still dont know why you just give the same reason every year.
Ind Cricket team : Well, I think they have some other way of farming, every year they change the base soil, and hence we are never able to get a hang of their soil, and hence couldn never understand how they make the maggi within 2 mins.
Common Man : Well then what happened to Asia Cup ?
Ind Cricket team : Well, we all appreciated Sachin's hundredth hundred, and hence to keep the haters in business, we ensured that we lost the match, and implemented plan "Save us, Kill sachin", by adding to the fire to the conspiracy " Sachin's century will always result in Indian loss".
Common Man: Well in that case, Sachin did not score a century in Australia series, then why didn you win.
Ind Cricket team : He did not score 90 plus either.
Common Man : Well you lost ICC T20, you said revenge series against England, it turned out to be a recap series.
Ind Cricket team : I appreciate the fact that you know the facts. If there is an section in IPC, you can put an case against the England team for brutally raping us in the field, and also a defamation suit as they have stripped of the fame which we had as 'Tigers in home'.
Well, Thanks for your support, if you could excuse us, it will be better, as we have an Pepsi Ad shoot now, with the caption "Change the game".
Common Man: Well, that's what I am also trying to drive into your heads, Change your game.
Bye til nex,
Its appraisal time of the year, and after yesterday's collapse I got so frustrated seeing it, and was just thinking what India did after world cup. So lets do a appraisal of Indian Cricket for this year.
I feel we had no significant outings this year, we lost invariably everywhere.
Well this is how an appraisal by you and me will look like, if we have one with Indian Cricket team .
Considering our current trend, it seems it will be difficult to have an month without having an scandal, without having an unwanted arrest, without having an series loss , without having an report from Kejriwal about some scam. That perfectly explains the state of Indian cricket.
Common Man : Well Indian Cricket team , welcome to your appraisal discussion for the 2012 season. Its been quite a time we had a significant chat about performance, and I haven checked the ICC ratings now, so tell me what you did over the year.
Ind Cricket Team : Well, its been a great year we toured great places, had great fun, played a bit of cricket too, indulged in as much as off-ground tactics as well. As a team, we are young, as we have successfully forced the seniors to put down their papers, and asked them to sit with Ramiz Raja and hence helped you to see the matches peacefully ,as he his too biased in commentary.
Common Man : Do you mean to say he always favour's the opposition ?
Ind Cricket Team : Well, not exactly. We tried our level best to overcome the hurdles, if one thought one series was worst ever, we came back strong with another devastating series loss and hence continuously exceeded expectations in pushing the bottom line. He never appreciated for that.
Common Man : BCCI has still appointed commentators who always speak high of BCCI, and BCCI even pays them, and in fact they get paid double both from BCCI and the sport channels.
Ind Cricket Team : Well, you see they needed some moments to speak high of us, apart from the IPL where all competing teams are Indian teams, we never gave them those moments.
Common Man : You see, IPL is not strictly in ICC's FTP, so its not part of our appraisal discussion, you cannot use that here.
MS : Oh God ! Srinivasan, my manager never told me that. Else I wouldn have wasted many matches giving practice to all my CSKmates in Indian cricket team, keeping other IPL team members constantly in the job of carrying water, juice, substitute fielders.
Srinivasan : IPL is a revolution of its own kind, and MS you cannot blame me for it. In order to give you more practice and earn more money I even increased the no ot teams, and no of matches. You spent more time in parties and following EPL rather than practicing for your matches.
Common Man : Well, you both take your business dealings outside of this discussion, we are in discussion about Indian Cricket Team and not just you two alone.
Rest of Ind Cricket Team : Well, we have just joined the team, and we are in our twenties, and MS always says its the role of youngsters to take the responsibility from the seniors, the only doubt we have is which category MS actually belongs to. He is asking the senior players to quit, and he is also having a rotation policy asking Sehwag, Gambhir to sit out, while he is also around the same age as them.
MS : Well its time to change the policy, we will now have a rotation policy for batsmen and bowlers. I wont fit into it exactly as my main role is wicket keeping. This is how I get to be as 'Captain Cool'.
Common Man : Okay hang on. It seems the discussion is going off the track, just like our bowlers who never bowl in good line and length. At least I have always a particular frequency length in my TV tuned for the channel which telecasts the match.
We will come to our performance series by series.
Ind Cricket team : Lets go backwards from December to Jan.
Common Man : Why is that so ?
Ind Cricket team : Well you see, we lost all series invariably except for a few which was against the minnows, and when compared to the loss of latest series Ind England, World T20 loss is comparatively less significant loss. So you see when compared to current loss, always the previous one looked much better.
Common Man : Well, I get your logic. Losing by playing 5 days is much better than losing in just 4 days or even less , this is what you mean rite.
Ind Cricket team : Absolutely, no wonder , you have invariably followed us everywhere and noticed our performances.We appreciate the fact that you even arranged a appraisal meeting for discussing about our performance, even after seeing all the matches.
Common Man : Well you see , you can relate this to what you do even. You travelled to Australia much earlier than the first match, asking for practice. But on the reality, I guess its an eyewash. You just got more per-diem and spent on buying Australian Beers and stuffs, and hung out in your fellow IPL team mates house. And to top it all, you filed your travel expense report as buying special mongoose bats to practice for IPL, special balls to find out how Australian bowlers bowl well.
Ind Cricket team : So you know these all along ?
Common Man : Well of course, I have more priority to follow Indian Cricket than Indian politics, as a matter of fact than anything. I follow your matches day and night , wake up to the time zone of the country you are touring, following you ball by ball in Cricbuzz and Cricinfo, and as a sentiment sometimes only in Cricbuzz/Cricinfo.
Common Man : The year started with your Australia tour, with all the buzz around saying this is the weak Australian team ever etc. all we managed is to score once above 300 in 8 innings we played. And lost 2 test matches with more than 100 runs margin, and 2 being an innings defeat.Indian Cricket Team ; Well, you see it was all due to the christmas treat which the Australians threw for us. They mixed something in our food, and we got addicted to their Maggi which can be made in 2 mins, and we just couldn bat any longer than 2 mins, as our Maggi was ready to eat back in the dressing room. We gave the responsibility to Sachin, Dravid , Laxman in the batting department, and bowling to Zaheer.
All of them failed.
Common Man : Well, as I understand cricket is a team game, and if 4 players fail, you still have 7 more players who can play.
Indian Cricket team : Well, they are youngsters, so you cant just put the blame on them, put them on the seniors, so they take the blame and retire.
Common Man : Well leave that, its a series to be forgotten anyways for our own good.
Indian Cricket Team : In that case, you have to forget the whole year for our own good .
Common Man : Hang on, hang on, I am not done with you yet. I understand that there is a power shortage in your hotels, as a result your maggi is still not ready.
Indian cricket team : Okay, if you say so.
Common Man : Australian soil, I understand is much differnt from Indian soil, so you can make an excuse for that, but I still dont know why you just give the same reason every year.
Ind Cricket team : Well, I think they have some other way of farming, every year they change the base soil, and hence we are never able to get a hang of their soil, and hence couldn never understand how they make the maggi within 2 mins.
Common Man : Well then what happened to Asia Cup ?
Ind Cricket team : Well, we all appreciated Sachin's hundredth hundred, and hence to keep the haters in business, we ensured that we lost the match, and implemented plan "Save us, Kill sachin", by adding to the fire to the conspiracy " Sachin's century will always result in Indian loss".
Common Man: Well in that case, Sachin did not score a century in Australia series, then why didn you win.
Ind Cricket team : He did not score 90 plus either.
Common Man : Well you lost ICC T20, you said revenge series against England, it turned out to be a recap series. Ind Cricket team : I appreciate the fact that you know the facts. If there is an section in IPC, you can put an case against the England team for brutally raping us in the field, and also a defamation suit as they have stripped of the fame which we had as 'Tigers in home'.
Well, Thanks for your support, if you could excuse us, it will be better, as we have an Pepsi Ad shoot now, with the caption "Change the game".
Common Man: Well, that's what I am also trying to drive into your heads, Change your game.
Bye til nex,
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